Pushing Buttons
by Diane Coffin
Summary: Danny enjoys pushing Steve's buttons, until Steve pushes back.   A bantery cargument fic based on a dream I had.   Warnings for mildly naughty language and silliness.


**Pushing Buttons**

When his cell phone rang, Danny kept his hands on the steering wheel for a few seconds, rocking his shoulders to the rhythm of The Ventures before answering the call.

Beside him, Steve looked over and grinned. "Pipeline," he said, nodding his head to the song's beat.

Danny winked at him as he fished out his phone and flipped it open. "Yo. Kono. What's up? …Yeah, yeah. …Well, damn. Nice try. So, what's next, you gonna…? Sure. We're heading up H-1 to pay our guy a little visit. …Ha! Yep, SuperSEAL can't wait. Poor JoJo." Danny glanced over for the pleasure of seeing Steve's annoyed face. "…Yeah, I'll keep an eye on him. …Hey, listen, I'm at the wheel, I gotta go. …Yes, ma'am, I'm drivin'! My own car. It's awesome. …Okay, see ya." Danny snapped the phone shut and slid it back into his pocket. He counted to three.

"I'm not gonna hurt JoJo," mumbled Steve, as predicted.

"Of course not," Danny soothed. "That would be unprofessional. …Oh, by the way, Kono said their thing didn't work."

"Damn. Are they gonna…?"

"Yeah."

They drove along in companionable silence for a while, a silence that was broken when Danny's phone rang again. Danny listened placidly to the song but made no move to answer. He gave his side-view mirror a needless check before saying, "Steven, why are you calling me? I'm sitting right next to you." Danny could see his partner's sneaky hand buried in a pocket of his cargos. "You're calling me from your pants. Why are you doing that."

Steve's voice was cool. "I wanted to know what ring-tone you picked for me."

"Ah." Danny couldn't stop himself from smiling. "You like?"

"No," said Steve, shaking his head. "No, Danny, I do not like. Because this is the Army's theme song. 'The Army Goes Rolling Along,' the Army, the ARMY."

"And?"

"And I was in the NAVY."

Danny raised his eyebrows. "You were in the Navy?"

Steve buried his head in his hands. The ring-tone stopped as the call was sent to voicemail, and his shoulders slumped in relief.

Danny chewed thoughtfully on his lip. "In the Navy, huh? So, are you saying I should use the Village People for your song?"

"Oh, God." Steve's voice was muffled.

"Guess that's a no. Well, which one's the Navy song? Is it the Halls of Montezuma one?"

Steve made a pained little hiss before speaking through clenched teeth. "Anchors. Aweigh."

"What?"

"'Anchors Aweigh' is the Navy theme."

Danny frowned. "Huh. I thought it was a Sinatra movie."

"Oh my God." Steve was rubbing his forehead with his fingers.

"Well, Steve, I love Sinatra, I do, but… nah, I gotta stick with the Army song. I hear it and think of you."

Steve glanced up, looking fierce. "_Change_it."

"No." Danny's eyes were on the road, but he could feel the heat of Steve's glare. It was kind of cozy.

"Why not?"

Danny shrugged. "Because."

"_God_, Danny! Why not?"

Danny cast Steve a look full of affection. "Look at you, all worked up and scowlly. This is beautiful, babe, you're adorable. How can I change your song now? Why would I want to? It amuses me." He began to sing happily. "'Then it's hi! hi! hee! In the field artillery, Shout out your numbers loud and strong...!' Sing it, Steve!"

Steve's expression became stony, and he began to unbuckle his seat belt.

"What are you doing?" Danny asked.

"I'm leaving."

"You are on a busy highway, in a moving vehicle, going 45 miles an hour, dumbass."

"So?" Steve reached for the door handle.

"_Whoa!_" Danny reached over and grabbed his arm, holding tight, because holy shit, chances were good that Steve would actually jump. "Okay, okay, okay! I'll change it."

"You'll change it?"

"Yes, you lunatic, I will change it."

Steve's eyes narrowed. "To what?" he asked suspiciously, his hand still on the handle. "Make it good, Danno."

"Christ." Danny rolled his eyes. "'Make it good, Danno,'" he mocked nasally. "How 'bout Debbie Boone. 'You Light Up My Life.'"

Steve considered this for a minute, then buckled back up. "Fine. That works. I like it."

"Are… are you kidding me with this? You tasteless freak! You _like _it?"

"I love it. Do it. Is it a deal, or do I jump?" Steve leaned toward the door.

"It's a deal, it's a deal! Jeez. Just, promise me something, will you?"

Steve grunted, non-committal.

"Promise me that you will never, ever call me on my phone. Ever."

Steve shook his head. "Can't do that, Danny. I'm your boss. In fact, I'll probably call you more now. Even when I'm with you."

Danny sighed. "You do not light up my life, Steven."

"Yes, I do."

"Do not."

"Do so. And just so you know, the Halls of Montezuma one is the Marines."

"Whatever."

~The End~


End file.
